Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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