I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she told me i tasted like america
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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