hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
be right there i have to get my cape
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
