idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
