i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
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There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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