Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
