# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
