Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
