My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize