Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
