that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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