A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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