i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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