Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
