so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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