I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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