I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
