hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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