I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
