I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
