Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
