Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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