she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
