Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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