Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
