dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
