it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
