i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
