The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he puts the penis in happiness.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
