as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
