i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
