I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
