Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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