3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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