I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
