is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
