today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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