How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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