I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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