I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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