kristin has been a bad kristin
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
