I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
