I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
