I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
