the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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