Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
