There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
