no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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