If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
