At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
