I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize