can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just want to make out with him forever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
