he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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