I can tuck mytits in my pants
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
