Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
