I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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