I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
