Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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