Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
